Old Blog posts. Worth re-reading. Maybe.

Maybe I've grown... is it true? I guess I am still in similar predicaments now, but at least I don't care for LaCoste polo shirts anymore.

Sunday, February 11, 2007
La di da. Just some thoughts to munch on.
Current mood: giddy
Category: Romance and Relationships

It has been a while since I blogged anything constructive so I figured I would kill some time this morning.

Most of my past blogs have been somewhat despondent and cynical, but today I'm feeling a bit more optimistic. Sometimes things happen that can change your life in a day and these unexpected occasions are usually the best. As I've said before, I'm certainly no expert on this topic, but I'm good at expressing my opinions when I'm feeling analytical. Anyhow, I've found myself in the midst of a (potential) fairytale romance and it has changed my typically skeptical outlook of love into an optimistic, day-dreamy, cheery-eyed attitude. Who'd have thought? ME??? Surely this must be a lie. Should I have my blood pressure checked? Have I been drugged, brainwashed or worse? I think not. I've just converted. That's right, I'm a believer. At least for the time being ;-)

I haven't really let everyone in on the story, but I'll just say that I'm sublimely, intoxicatingly, bewitchingly smitten at the moment. It's a great feeling when you wake up with someone on your mind, reach over to check your phone, and see that lovely little text message notification. He's been thinking about me too! All the silly (embarrassing) anecdotes and sentimental nonsense has become a part of my daily routine and I couldn't be more excited. I'm sure my friends are sick to death of me gushing. My cheeks are literally sore from smiling so much! I'm going to enjoy every minute of it and hope it lasts for a while. It's nice to be drunk on someone without ever drinking a drop.

Ok, I've gotten it out. I'll hush for a minute and move on to the next topic ;-)
I saw a funny little cartoon a few weeks ago that really depicted what we go through. A guy stares at a girl's chest thinking "I really want to see you naked" while she thinks to herself, "I'll tolerate sleeping with you until I find something better".

While it's pretty simple and straightforward, it is so (so, so, so) accurate! I think sometimes we're in the frame of mind that we are supposed to have a boyfriend/girlfriend (or at least be dating/sleeping with somebody). Then you meet someone, put your moves on each other, have some dinner, make-out in a bar, cop a feel or two, etc. After a few weeks you're at the point when you decide if you want to continue or not. But I've noticed that a lot of times you don't discontinue the tryst even when you're sure there's no future. Either you don't have anyone else on the horizon or you just aren't busy enough to find a reason to say goodbye. Or you sit there with your friends and calculate all of the reasons why you should date this person, as if saying it out loud makes it true. You can make a laundry list of all the high points; so-and-so has a good job, pulls out the chair, flosses regularly, plays well with others, has cute dimples… but what does it really matter? Are you hopelessly head-over-toes for this person? Are you certain that some cosmic force has brought you together? If not, then why are you wasting your time? I think we convince ourselves that there's something there even when deep down we know there isn't. It's just the convenience and the comfort of having someone around when you want them. And it sure beats having dinner by yourself several nights a week.

Tasha and I have talked a lot about things we go through romantically and I recently resolved that some things should be left unsaid. I've realized that we have a habit of venting our frustrations to our friends and therefore they tend to hear only the negative points in any situation. This leaves them with the impression that you're in some destructive relationship and are reminded of the negativity every time that person's name is mentioned. It's hard not to show a lack of enthusiasm when your best friend confides in you when her significant other has misbehaved. Unfortunately, we have a propensity to leave out the devotion and affection that our beau provides us. So… I've decided to keep a positive attitude towards any person I'm involved with when speaking about them to someone else, and try to shed an encouraging light. I would love for my friends to do the same, so that I can keep an optimistic outlook for them and any future encounters with their companions. Also, I'd like to offer my apologies to any boyfriends out there that I may have acted coldly towards if you didn't deserve it. But if you did, then disregard that last sentence and start minding yourself!

As I just proofread the past few paragraphs, I'm realizing that I'm jumping around from subject to subject and making no real progress whatsoever, but I don't feel like making the extra effort to tie them all together. So, if you're reading this, I hope you're not too confused or disappointed. On that note, I'll leave you by saying I love all my lovely friends, family, etc. You guys are awesome. And thanks to The Dane for being so disgustingly adorable all the time. Du får mig til at smile!



Friday, October 20, 2006
Pay no attention - I'm not an expert
Current mood: complacent
Category: Romance and Relationships

I recently decided to do some research on a subject I've written about before. Dating. It's ludicrous. Yet we all have an insatiable desire to take numerous cracks at it. It's such a game of tricks, whether we like to admit it or not. There are so many facets and perspectives when it comes to the characteristic behavior of the opposite sex. One I find most complicated is the initial two-week to two-month period. This is the segment of time where you get to know each other, try to impress each other, determine if Frank's bad breath is tolerable, or Cindy's unibrow is just too much... You feel out each other's idiosyncratic behavior to decide if it's charming or a little too bizarre. You give 'em your best moves, put on your brand-spankin' new LaCoste polo, and you wax poetic on the things you're passionate about in hopes that you'll woo your beloved even more. It's a complete circus, and we love it. But along with that comes the inevitable doubt and frustration when you lie awake at night and wonder what they're thinking… about you… and if they like you… and if you like them… and if they're hiding something terribly strange like webbed toes or a tattoo of Betty Boop on their rear-end...

It can be a slippery slope when trying to determine what your feelings are for another. If they call too much, they're desperate. If they call too little, they're obviously not as interested. Or are they? Is it possible he's avoiding me, or is he just busy? You never know when you're making excuses for him or if you're being irrational in your attempts to connect with him. You resolve not to call him anymore – he can call you if he wants. Then you have some sips of dumb-in-a-shot-glass. Those tricky little cocktails. Always messing up our plans! That's when he wakes up to hear a slurred voicemail professing your feelings and scolding him for his foolish behavior! Because who wouldn't want an intoxicated, slightly insufferable, half-dressed girl, leaning over the toilet seat?!

It always seems that we only want something until we have it, and then don't want it anymore. If you're craving inexhaustible attention and affection, you better be careful what you wish for. That guy comes along and you ultimately find him a bore and start scheming ways to blow him off. Stop answering the phone, avoid the spots you see/have seen him. Avoid, at all costs, that awkward moment when you bump into one another and he asks where you've been. Uh… my dog ran away and my apartment flooded after that monsoon hit – oh, it didn't hit yours? Strange. Well gee, I um, gotta run, but I'll give you a call…

So, after all this rambling, I've come to no conclusion, but still agree to meander around Atlanta in search of that poor sucker who wants to have a go at it. Just like all the other girls I know and love, I'm a hot mess and I wouldn't change it for the world. Now I just need the jovial janitor of love to come and clean me up ;)


Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Wondering...
Current mood: contemplative
Category: Romance and Relationships

Do you ever wonder why it always seems that we only want what we can never have? That everything that our hearts desire seems to be the stuff that is bad for us? The guy who everyone (including you) can see will only break your heart, the double cheeseburger from McDonalds that will keep you from fitting into your favorite jeans, that ONE LAST drink in the bar that will leave you undoubtedly on the bathroom floor praying to the porcelain princess once again! And why is it that while doing these things, we can undoubtedly convince ourselves that these things are making us happy. How is it that I can convince myself that the guy I cannot seem to stop pining over is what makes me happy. Truthfully, every time the phone rings I secretly hope that I will look at that wonderful invention of caller id and it will be his number. Which by the way, I have deleted and re-entered into my phone so many times that I have now memorized it, and always know when it is NOT him. And why after several drinks, do I always think it will be okay to call him, text message him or email him? That because I am at the bottom of a bottle (yes, inebriated again!) that he will decide to answer the phone! I can meet a boy that is wonderful and adores me and would walk across hot coals for me, is good looking has a good job and would undoubtedly spoil me even more than I think I deserve, but I simply lose interest in him. Is it the challenge that I love? I have heard that so many times that I really am starting to think that it is just yet another overused saying in our English language. And then there are my beloved friends who hate him and feel the need to give me tips on how to handle the situation. The most frequent being "You just have to stop thinking about him". Well OMG, why did I not think about that?!?! Such an easy solution! Hello!?!? You really think that I have not tried? Each and every time he pops into that (apparently Pea sized) brain of mine do you honestly believe that I don't try to knock him out? Come on people.

I guess the moral of this blog – if there is one – is that sometimes you can't find rationality in your emotions, you can't always connect your heart with your head, and alcohol tends to decrease that thing I've heard of called common sense (which I evidently lack in most cases anyhow). And, upon much discussion with my dear friend Mollie, we've determined that if things were simple and our hearts weren't perpetually in a state of confusion, life would ultimately bore us. So, while I sit here and ponder the complexity of matters of the heart, I'll try to rest satisfied that it's all here for my sheer entertainment. And next time I drown myself in Smirnoff and soda, I'll try to remember that those drunk dials, texts and emails are not going to benefit me at all. Besides, spell check doesn't work when you're intoxicated at 3:00 on a Thursday morning!